Nighttime Revelations
by xXBlackBloodAngelXx
Summary: What happens when a screaming Mr. Tumnus wakes up Peter out of worry for Edmund. Could Edmund possibly be a danger to himself? First Narnian Fanfic! Warning: May contain Triggers for some people!


**Here's a new one shot...this also happens to be my first Chronicles of Narnia fanfic! Please let me know how I did.**

 **Disclaimer: I only own this laptop and my own crazy mind!**

"Your Majesty! Get up this instant...It's about your brother!" A frantic Mr. Tumnus yelled after bursting into King Peter's bedchamber at 3:24 in the morning. Said King groaned, but rose as fast as he could once his brain registered the Faun's words.

"Edmund?!"

"Yes, Sire, you must go to him right away!"

That was all Peter needed to hear before he rushed to his baby brother. Although, he wanted to go inside Edmund's room, Peter paused outside the open door at the sound of Oreius berating his brother.

"-Are completely idiotic. It's time you gained some dignity and self-respect. This is bad for yourself and those around you. You need to learn! You may be one of my kings, but I will not put up with this! And-" Oreius cut himself off when he noticed Peter standing in the doorway. "I'll leave this mess to you, Sire."

Peter was shocked. Oreius never raised his voice to any of his four monarchs. Not even when he and Lucy played all sorts of cruel jokes on the Centaur. What Edmund did must have been BAD! Peter watched Oreius' retreating figure, and then turned to analyze his brother.

"What exactly is going on, Edmund?"

"I don't know." Edmund replied while shfting his eyes to the side. Peter knew something was up, but it was early and he was really tired. The High King sighed. He really didn't want to deal with his little brother's beastly antics. After all, what else could make Oreius that mad? It had been an entire month since their coronation, and everyone thought they could see a change in Edmund. But perhaps that was only their wishful thinking. Edmund had always been quiet, so perhaps it was only normal for him to shy away from everyone when introduced to a strange land. When Edmund did talk to people it was only when he had to, and even then he refused to make eye contact. Whereas, his 3 siblings were always outgoing, friendly, and rather enjoyed making new friends.

Yes, Edmund had always been known as the 'Black Sheep' of the family. Not just in attitude, but in appearance as well. Peter, Susan, and Lucy all had blue eyes. They also had a slightly darker complexion, although they were considered quite pale. And, t

hen there was his hair. Peter got their dad's hair, and Lucy and Susan got their mom's mousy brown hair. Edmund, however, had black hair ,brown eyes, and his skin was almost translucent.

"Really, Edmund? Really? Why can't you ever think about others for once? You're always causing trouble! Just grow up already!"

If it had been any other time of day, Peter would have noticed the sorrow-filled look on Edmund's face at his words. Edmund was beyond hurt by Peter's words, but he wouldn't cry. He refused to cry in front of Peter. He silently stood and pushed past Peter, and began to run. He ran, and didn't look back. He didn't even register Peter's cries of, "Wait, Ed, come back!"

No he didn't stop until he got far out into the woods beyond Cair Paravel. He sat down against a tree and absently began to rub his arm. He pulled his knees to his chest, and started rocking slowly back and forth trying to comfort himself. But it wasn't helping at all. He still felt awful. What Peter said to him was awful!

"Edmund?" He could distantly hear his brother's voice calling him.

Peter, however, was extremely worried. Edmund was the type of person to lash out at people, but he had ran away. Peter sighed. Edmund was definitely not okay. He noticed his baby brother holding his arm, and decided to investigate in case he sprained it. He plopped himself down next to the 'Just' king and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

"What's wrong?" Peter asked softly.

"Nothing..."

He was rubbing his arm again, Peter noted.

"Did you fall or something? You're rubbing your arm a lot." Peter remarked while reaching toward Edmund's arm to examine it. Edmund suddenly jerked out of Peter's grasp and hid the limb behind his back.

"I'm not rubbing my arm!" Edmund exclaimed, his voice unusually high-pitched. Peter, on the other hand, now knew that his brother was hiding something from him.

"Edmund! Show me your arm now!" Peter demanded with quickly growing irritation.

"No! You can't make me!"

Finally, Peter had enough of Edmund's stubbornness. He tackled his brother, and wrestled his arm to his grasp. He was about roll up the younger boy's sleeve, when Edmund started wailing.

"NO! PETER DONT! PLEASE!" Edmund begged. Peter didn't like seeing his brother like this, but he needed to know what was going on.

"Oh, Edmund..." Peter let out a gasp. He fell back onto his knees while still keeping Edmund in place. He was absolutely terrified by what he saw.

On Edmund's forearm were the words, 'Just Die'.

The words were bright red, and looked extremely recent. In fact, a few of the letters were slightly bleeding around the edges. He looked sharply at his younger brother's **face,** tears were silently streaming down his face. He didn't want to believe what he was seeing. Certainly, Edmund would never in a million years do this to himself.

"What?...Who did this!?"

"Who do you think did this, Peter?" Edmund sputtered with a dark chuckle.

"No...This isn't possible!"

Then, suddenly, everything made since. Edmund's behavior. His quiet demeanor. The fact that Oreius was so upset he was probably ready to commit treason. What exactly was his baby brother thinking?

"Ed?"

Edmund looked up.

"Don't lie to me...what exactly happened tonight?"

Edmund looks down in utter shame. This wasn't part of his plan. No one was ever supposed to find out about his dark secret.

"Oreius found out about...this", Edmund explained while gesturing to his arm, "And I panicked. I begged him not to tell anyone-that was yesterday morning-then after everyone else went to bed for the night, I decided to take a walk along the ocean...and then-" Edmund cut himself off, and looked away.

"Ed?" Peter prompted.

"Then...end of story." He said quickly after a little hesitation.

"What really happened?" Peter asked through his frustration.

"I...um...I was staring off into the ocean, and...I guess I just couldn't take it anymore." Edmund admitted nervously.

"You didn't." Peter didn't want to think that Edmund had tried doing what he think he had.

"I...um...I'm so sorry, Peter, but I...I guess I sort of tried ...drowning myself."

Peter was frozen in shock. How could his brother of done this. Oreius most likely saved the young king, and he would have to remember to reward the brave knight.

"Edmund. Why so sudden? You didn't even seem that affected by what the witch did that much!" Peter was trying to grasp some king of understanding to the situation at hand.

"You mean you never noticed?! Wow, I just feel so great!"

"Didn't really need the sarcasm. What exactly have I never noticed. It's only been a month since we came to Narnia."

"Why don't you look at my other arm..." Edmund whispered. Confused by his words, Peter decided to take his brother's advice. He grasped his other wrist, and slowly drew up his sleeve. What he saw took his breath away. Little white and pink raised lines ran all the way up his arm. There was no way this possibly started in Narnia. These scars were way too old. They had to of happened in Finchley. How had he never noticed that his brother was in pain? All he had seen was the beastly little boy who had felt the need to pick on anyone smaller than him.

"Finchley?" Peter asked still in shock.

"I've been doing this for the last 6 months." He admitted.

"What? Why?"

"You'll never be able to understand...You've always been the golden boy. The one everyone loves. You've never felt like you can't fit in. You've never felt alone and unloved...

You know it's actually pretty funny! Really, it is! You know Susan once denied I was her little brother. That's the first moment I knew. I knew then that I would always be alone. I ran home that day to tell mother what had happened. But, before I could even start to tell her, she broke some bad news to me. She wanted me to play with the same person who had been bullying me since I started that awful boarding school I went to when I was 8. She said I should try harder to get along with everyone. I felt like no one could possibly love me at that point. What really stands out the most is what happened when dad left to go to war. He had special goodbyes for you, Susan, and Lucy, but not fo r me. He just clapped me on the shoulder, and told me to behave and listen to mother. That's the first time I cut actually. I realized then that dad didn't truly love me. Took me long enough, right? See, I told you! It's hilarious!"

Peter's face was sheer white. His baby brother felt unloved to the point of becoming catatonic at the mere mention of his feelings.

"Ed. Don't." He tried to calm him down.

"NO! You asked, and now you're going to listen!"

He went on.

"While you didn't care enough to notice how depressed I was, the witch saw right through me! She saw my inner agony, and all the insecurities I had with it. She decided to use them to her advantage. She made me feel the love I so desperately craved in less than two minutes. She was just deceiving me, though, because no one really loves me. Finally, when I was her prisoner, it got to the point to where I actually wanted to die...I wanted her to kill me!"

Peter didn't know what to do. His little brother had little sobbed that last part out. And, now that he thinks of it, when exactly was the last time he hugged his brother or showed him any affection at all?

He didnt remember.

Even as a child, Edmund hadn't particularly liked physical contact, so they had just taken it for granted that he didn't actually NEED that proof of their love. He could vouch for every member of his family that they truly loved Edmund.

"Edmund, we do love you! You're my baby brother, I may not show it, but I love you just as much as Susan and Lucy!" Peter exclaimed.

"STOP! I DONT BELIEVE YOU!" Edmund was cradling his head in his hands and his eyes were staring off into empty space. "You're love is just like Hers..."

Peter couldn't believe what he was hearing! Edmund actually thought it was impossible for him to be loved.

"Goodbye Peter!"

He looked up to see Edmund running again-only this time it was to his possible death.

"No you don't, Edmund!"

Peter ran faster than he ever had before, and caught Edmund before he could attempt suicide again.

"WHY!" Edmund sobbed, "WHY CANT YOU JUST LET ME DIE?!"

Peter had Edmund restrained against his chest, so he decided to start rocking him.

"Shhh, Edmund. It's going to be okay. We're going to be okay. I'll make you feel loved, even if I have to die trying."

Eventually, Edmund fell asleep against Peter's chest. Peter sighed.

"I'll definitely show you, baby brother. I'll definitely show you." He whispered as he began carrying the young boy back to their castle.

When he arrived he was met with one worried centaur, one worried faun, and to extremely worried sisters.

"Is Edmund alright, Peter?" Lucy asked.

"No, he's not, Lu. But, I won't rest until I know he's safe from everything...even himself..."


End file.
